


The Very Model of a Futuristic Pirate Crew

by machiavellijr



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Filk, Gen, Model of a Modern Major-General, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-13 00:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1205503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/machiavellijr/pseuds/machiavellijr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonny hates Gilbert and Sullivan. Jonny really hates Gilbert and Sullivan. Do we care? No we do not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Very Model of a Futuristic Pirate Crew

**Author's Note:**

  * For [drumbot_beta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/drumbot_beta/gifts).



We are the very model of a futuristic pirate crew

Theft and narrative destruction are the things we really like to do

We've travelled 'cross the galaxy and space and time and everywhere

And if you find us scary well that's quite alright 'cause we don't care

We're very well acquainted with disturbing pop psychology

We spend our lives defying laws of physics and biology

As well as those of nations we encounter out among the stars

We're wanted for most ev'ry crime from lunarcide to stealing cars.

 

[They're wanted for...]

 

We're known for being rather nerdy yet quite representative

You might say that our visits were a bigotry preventative

**< V/O yeah, if you annoy them they shoot you>**

In short as you can see from all the stories that we tell to you

We are the very model of a futuristic pirate crew

 

[In short...]

 

Our captain never lets the fact he's really first mate get him down

He's murdered robbed and pillaged from Andromeda to London town

His loyal gunner lost his eyes in blowing up a satellite

Gunpowder Tim's his name but what he really likes is dynamite

Our Engineer Nastya lost her homeland to the socialists

She's sleeping with our starship and adult'ry gets it really pissed

So if she slept with Jonny then our wanderings would end for good

It's very lucky really that we're sure nobody ever would

 

[It's very lucky...]

 

We've chronicled the tales of City, Camelot and Old King Cole

We count on sheer audacity whenever we get in a hole

In short as you can see from all the stories that we tell to you

We are the very model of a futuristic pirate crew

 

[In short...]

 

Miss Ivy has read everything that's published in this galaxy

As well as several others that exist only in fantasy

Whilst Drumbot Brian boldly fights the role forced on him at his birth

He plays the banjo fiddle and accordion for all they're worth!

Now Marius would boldly claim that he's a doctor and a Peer

We're all for self-made people but we wish he hadn't made it here

And we picked up a mascot in a car boot sale on Sirius

It says it's a Toy Soldier and it's crazier than the rest of us

When Ashes burned a planet and they nearly got the City too

They proved that they belong here in our futuristic pirate crew!

 

[They proved...]

 

Now all that's left is mentioning the vermin that infest our ship

I think Aurora likes them but she really ought to get a grip

They're creepy and annoying and the story of their naming is

They're octokittens – cats with eight tentacular appendages

 

[They're creepy...]

 

In short, when we have travelled 'cross a million worlds and maybe more

When people know what we threw Doc Carmilla out an airlock for

When we've put in a bit about the crewmember that we missed out

(her name is Rafaella and she's damn hard to forget about)

When Jonny's pistol works and his harmonica he plays in tune

When law enforcement finally shut up about that fucking moon

In short when we have finished all the stories we've to tell to you

You'll see that we're the model of a futuristic pirate crew!

 

[We'll say that you're...]


End file.
